This week Rebekah Hawk brings us our devotional thoughts. You can learn more about her on the contributors page.
It seems incredible to me that two years ago, I was fasting and praying for the child I hold today. One year ago, about this time, I found out I was carrying the answer to my earnest prayers. I learned so much about prayer and about the goodness of my God as I waited on Him.
I remember doing so much soul-searching, trying to decide if my heart’s desire was truly a godly desire. I came to firmly believe that God had placed the desire for another child in my heart, and I struggled so much in the waiting, wondering if God would give me what I wanted.
Today, I can see that my desire for a baby, now that I’m holding the child I asked for, has placed me in a state of utter dependency on Him. It was so easy to slip into pride, fooling myself that I had it all figured out before God gave me what I begged for. How quickly I realized the fragility of the “success” I had built in our home—now, once-simple tasks seem nearly insurmountable! I must cry out to Him every day just to make it through!
I think God gave me this baby to help keep me desperate for Him. To find joy in the incredible truth that He will sustain me, He will continue to fill me with Himself when I am beyond spent. He lavishes His grace on this poor mother—He continually provides above what I imagine, from financial provisions to time to study His Word to the encouragement of faithful friends, and more.
God knew the challenges I would face with our fourth child, yet He still gave her to us. He knew that giving me the desire of my heart would drive me to my knees, fill me with a longing for His grace, and wrap me in a peace beyond understanding.
My encouragement to you, should you find yourself in the waiting category: don’t dwell too long on whether your heart’s desire is from God—trust Him to decide if giving you your heart’s desire will indeed drive you to delight in Him even more. The joy of trusting Jesus with the future fills the waiting period with an exciting feeling of expectancy.
He will give us the desires of our hearts—whether He changes our desires is irrelevant, because in the process, He will certainly change our hearts. And that is an encouraging thought – to have our hearts touched by Almighty Creator God!
Recent Comments