Rose Song penned our thoughts for this week. Be sure to learn more about her on the contributor’s page.
God unexpectedly uprooted our little family of three to rural North Carolina. Mothering a toddler in new surroundings sent a deluge of loneliness I didn’t see coming.
My young husband signed up for two new jobs. The days would now seem even longer. My loneliness spat out tearful prayers… God, would you remind me of Your presence right now. I feel so alone.
One night we were heading out to our church Christmas cantata practice. While my daughter was happily munching on her Cheerios in her carseat, humming to blaring Sunday school songs on CD, I was nervously driving in the dark.
My fears were confirmed when out from my right, a huge 300-pound buck darted out, T-boning my little Honda! My vehicle crashed to a sudden stop and smoke began rapidly engulfing the car.
I vaguely heard someone pound on my window, shouting if I was okay. My daughter was wailing in the back and somewhere in the middle of it all, we found ourselves safely at a gas station with a police car writing up a report.
We went home late that night, thankfully without any injuries, but devastatingly car-less. We found out later that we were not able to afford our Honda’s repairs. Yet we shared with no one about our lack of funds.
I began to feel forsaken. My loneliness reared its ugly head once again. Instead of humble prayers, they became tearful demands: God, are You there? I mean, really?
In the meantime, our church held revival services. Absorbing the series of sermons on “Surrender”, God began tugging at my heart one evening . . . Rose, surrender. Surrender your everything to Me.
As the invitation began, I walked out to the altar and kneeled.
Lord, I surrender my all to You. You’re in control.
As the service ended, I picked up my toddler from the nursery. Turning around, I noticed a lady approaching me. Smiling warmly she said, “I can’t say who it’s from, but it’s for you.”
As soon as I arrived home, I found my purse and slowly opened the white envelope.
I gasped.
In it was a check with the exact amount covering the cost of our car to be fixed.
My hands trembled as hot tears stained my face. Blinking away the tears, I noticed the date on the check.
I then heard myself wailing out an all-out ugly cry, forgetting my toddler was fast asleep in the next room.
The check was written a week before the deer-car accident!
God, You have never forgotten me. I was not forsaken when You sovereignly relocated our family. I was not forsaken during the car accident. I was not forsaken when You asked me to surrender my all to You.
Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with thee. I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”
I realized that even though I often felt lonely, I was indeed never alone.
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