Rebekah Hawk is sharing devotional thoughts with us this week! Be sure to stop by the contributors page to learn more about her.

I remember very vividly when I began to embrace my gender. Until I read Caddie Woodlawn, I thought my lot in life was pretty unfair—it seemed that my three brothers had all the fun, women’s lives were just too hard, and who wanted to be a lady, anyway?

But when I read,

“It is the sisters and wives and mothers, you know, Caddie, who keep the world sweet and beautiful. What a rough world it would be if there were only men and boys in it, doing things in their rough way! A woman’s task is to teach them gentleness and courtesy and love and kindness. It’s a big task, too, Caddie—harder than cutting trees or building mills or damming rivers” (Brink, 244).

it began to occur to me what an awesome responsibility had been entrusted to me by my God. As the Lord matured me, I started really working on ways I could better myself as a woman: I learned how to cook from my mom. I tried different ways of styling my hair (mercifully, social media did not exist back then!), dove headfirst into the world of makeup and nail polish, and though my fashion sense did not arrive till MUCH later—thank you, dear college roommates!—I honestly gave femininity a chance. 

I did not utterly forsake my love of climbing trees, screaming at football games, or big trucks. I had begun to understand that I could be a soft-hearted and gentle girl while still passionately enjoying many pastimes that were traditionally geared toward boys. And I embraced my role as a sister—a teacher of sorts to my three brothers, and an example to my two sisters.

Looking back, I am so grateful for my heart change. I’m sure my marriage would have suffered greatly if I had not realized that I would have an important role to fulfill as a wife. By encouraging him in his godly actions and carefully expressing my hurt at his selfish behaviors, God used my influence to mold my husband into the man he is today. I have been a helper to him! Don’t mistake me—I don’t claim credit for the wonderful work God is doing in my husband’s life! I simply recognize that I have had the awesome privilege of helping him throughout our married life.

It is this idea of needing help that brought the Holy Spirit to my mind. I am not like Christ naturally. I want to be, but my best efforts are woefully inadequate! I need help to obey my Savior. And that is just what the Holy Spirit does. He helps me understand and obey God just as I help my husband do life. 

I constantly tease my man that he would be lost without me, but the truth is, I would be lost without God’s Holy Spirit, my Helper. How comforting that He is always with me: teaching, encouraging, moving, and helping me please God.